Carlos Alazraqui (Guard 1 / Scissors), Ron Funches (Rock), Thomas Lennon (Paper), Diedrich Bader (Captain / Chad Brockchad), JP Karliak (Sheep / Crowd Member 2 / Man on One Knee / Convenient News Reporter), Isaac Robinson-Smith (Crowd Member 1 / Todd / Water Marauder / Waiter), Fryda Wolff (Sassy Receptionist / Hip Woman), Secunda Wood (Employee / Mom / Cashier), Andrew Morgado (Guard 2 / Hippo / R.O.V.E.R.), Betsy Sodaro (Potato)